Break-up Posted by Bubbly89 , Monday, December 26, 2011 at 8:44 AM, in

Every break up is definitely straining both physically and emotionally, except probably in those cases where the relationships didn't have a correct start to begin with. But when you started a relationship, you never thought of breaking someone's heart or having your heart broken.

Initiating a break-up is not something easy, in contrast with what they portrayed in movies or dramas. These movies or dramas did not exactly focus on the one initiating the break up but rather on the one who had their hearts broken, which of course, increases the depression of the one initiating the break-up.

When someone says that he or she wants to back out from a long relationship, and he or she says, "It's not your fault. It's totally my fault." For one thing, they really do mean it. When you breakup with someone, it means you're breaking all the promises to the other person while you were in the relationship. The promises such as, "You will always be in my life...", "We will have a happy future together..", "I will be by your side always..", "I will always protect you and never hurt you..." etc.

However, when you find out that you can't see the future with that someone, and that you think that the other person deserve someone better, it's like you're actually walking back on your promises. It's like you're telling the other person, "My future will not have you...", "We will never have future together..", "I will never be by your side..." and "I will only hurt you more.."etc.

The one who is initiating the breakup will have to go through the torments of these thoughts before they do it. The guilt, the embarrassment, the thought of the sufferings you're going to inflict on the other person can definitely drive you crazy. You blame yourself for not being able to stay faithful and not being able to persuade yourself to include the other person in your life. Yet, not being able to wholeheartedly fulfill the promises seems more cruel to the other person. A short term pain is definitely better than a long term pain.

So, in the end, you decided to tell that someone you want to back out from the relationship. You see that person falls into despair. You see the world around that person seems to crash down right in front of your eyes, like a snow globe being smashed to the ground - a perfect but imaginary world being crashed. You wish that you could turn back the time, to the time where you never made the promises...to the time when you did not agree to the relationship.. to the time when the other person have never known you...no matter how grateful you are for the memories you have together.

Then you'll try to persuade yourself that the other person would only be sad for the time being and he or she would come around somehow. You would hope that the other person would not hate you after that, to the point of even erasing the memories between you. But if hatred or anger could help that person to be better, it still seems all the better. And you'll hope that someday, another person would heal the hurt that you've given to the other person.