Even though my mom's going to arrive in like 3 hours, I feel depressed. Definitely not because of my mom's coming, but because of the test that I just did this afternoon. Now, I have to come up with a stupid backup plan of taking the credit test during the exam term. Gosh!! Why did i have to touch my laptop when I had a test!! I think I'm going crazy already. Man!!
Luckily my mom's coming. Cause at least if I have to go back like super late, let's say in August, at least I won't be that homesick and at least I went back during CNY. But still, damn it! Damn it!
Seriously, I don't what luck I just had this afternoon. For one thing, I don't know why did I choose that seat and I don't know why the prof Kuriscak was sitting behind me. Shit!! Seriously.. if he didn't sit behind me, at least I would be able to have some extra time. But, he just had to sit there and caught me when I didn't hand in the test when time's up. Aaargh!!!
Ok then. Anyone's staying back in Prague in August? Don't worry, I'll be here. *sob*
Magic Power - 我是谁 (Super nice song - telling u to love urself)
Magic Power - 我是谁 我是谁 我是谁
作词：廷廷 (Magic Power)
作曲：廷廷 (Magic Power)
我是谁 你是否常常这样问自己
我是谁 总是活在别人的期望里
我是谁 是谁又擅自帮你定义了
你是谁 只有不是自己才安全
为什麽 你以为这个世界很美丽
为什麽 你爱这个世界胜过爱自己
为什麽 这个世界不给你平等待遇
为什麽 到底做错了什麽
朋友都说你太 太 太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑 笑 笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很 很 很简单
不过就是最普通的 的 的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看
无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
会不会 上帝把你的灵魂放错了身体
会不会 是故意整你不是不小心
会不会 你常常都觉得力不从心
会不会 坚持要做自己太危险
凭什麽 难道比较特别就是不对
凭什麽 先下了注解在认识之前
凭什麽 只不过想认真的活一遍
凭什麽 随便就把人定罪
我是谁 这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁 谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
我是谁 我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽
Logic makes you give up your dreams
I just realised how many dreams I have let go because logic told me these dreams would never come true. Seriously......
Before I made up my mind to become a doctor, I once had an ambition of becoming a DJ. Yup. A radio DJ. I was really interested in it. When there was an opportunity to visit a local radio station, I quickly jumped in and went. I set up DJ club in my school and all. Damn..was I serious.!!!? However, as time went by, as logic sank in, I realised it's not a good choice cause there's a very slim chance to become successful as a DJ. I mean, think about it. How many radio stations are there in Malaysia? Even if let's say that every hour will have different DJ, which of course is impossible, there will only be just 24 DJs needed by one radio station. So, conclusion? It's a vague dream..Give up!
Then, I thought of joining a pop band. As in just a band performing kinda thing. Logic registers that as "I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E." So....
Seriously, when you think about it, how many times you actually had the thought of "I want to be like that" before another thought said "It's impossible." and you actually just forget about it?
I bet it's countless.
Just like now. I think about going to Korea and really just try all my luck to meet Beast or 2PM or 2am. Logic tells me, "Don't be stupid and study your physio!"
Before I made up my mind to become a doctor, I once had an ambition of becoming a DJ. Yup. A radio DJ. I was really interested in it. When there was an opportunity to visit a local radio station, I quickly jumped in and went. I set up DJ club in my school and all. Damn..was I serious.!!!? However, as time went by, as logic sank in, I realised it's not a good choice cause there's a very slim chance to become successful as a DJ. I mean, think about it. How many radio stations are there in Malaysia? Even if let's say that every hour will have different DJ, which of course is impossible, there will only be just 24 DJs needed by one radio station. So, conclusion? It's a vague dream..Give up!
Then, I thought of joining a pop band. As in just a band performing kinda thing. Logic registers that as "I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E." So....
Seriously, when you think about it, how many times you actually had the thought of "I want to be like that" before another thought said "It's impossible." and you actually just forget about it?
I bet it's countless.
Just like now. I think about going to Korea and really just try all my luck to meet Beast or 2PM or 2am. Logic tells me, "Don't be stupid and study your physio!"
Dream guy..Impossible?
The more I watched a mv my friend sent to me, the more I really want to have that kind of guy. A guy who looks good in long trenchcoat and can play piano. I've found a guy who can actually play both violin and piano, which is like one of the hardest criteria of my dream guy, but he does exist. He's a Christian. He's funny. He's cute. He's like really fulfilling every single criteria. He does exist!! And one thing, he's not a celebrity but someone whom I can actually reach for. At least, in the technical sense if I really make the effort and do things the other way round, like a girl going after the boy. Unfortunately, he's neither Chinese nor Korean nor Japanese. Important factor. At least I want someone that looks like chinese or at least of chinese origin..Korean and Japanese are of Chinese origin by the way. So......
If.......there's a tall guy who looks good in trenchcoat and plays grand piano in front of me, or violin, I would definitely fall for him. Seriously, what can be more of an art than that? Lol!!!
But then again, I shouldn't be picky. I should be grateful enough if I can actually get married before 30. Anyway, now isn't the time to worry about this yet. At least, not till I graduate. By then, I guess, my whole family would be nagging me for like forever. At least now they're still in the "tolerable" level. Just occasional asking whether I have boyfriend and asking the reason for not having one till now.
Man...I really can't imagine what my family will be like if they ever find out that my plan B is not getting married...Hihihi...
If.......there's a tall guy who looks good in trenchcoat and plays grand piano in front of me, or violin, I would definitely fall for him. Seriously, what can be more of an art than that? Lol!!!
But then again, I shouldn't be picky. I should be grateful enough if I can actually get married before 30. Anyway, now isn't the time to worry about this yet. At least, not till I graduate. By then, I guess, my whole family would be nagging me for like forever. At least now they're still in the "tolerable" level. Just occasional asking whether I have boyfriend and asking the reason for not having one till now.
Man...I really can't imagine what my family will be like if they ever find out that my plan B is not getting married...Hihihi...
New favourite Korean band - BEAST
The other day, I just happened to listen to this Beast's songs over and over again. The more I listened to them, the more I like them. Their songs match my favourite genre as well. It's like the perfect band for me.
And because of that, I became really interested in them. They're like super cool group. All of them can actually sing very very very well, except for one of them who's specialised in rapping. I was like =0 when I first saw which one of them sang a particular part in a particular song. All of them have very nice voice, like unique kinda voice.
Sad thing is, they're all younger than me except for two of the older ones. And my favourite is of course younger than me. I mean, the chances for me to like a younger one is like 2/3. His name is Yang Yo Seob. He is the main vocalist and boy, can he sing.
I actually had the 冲动 to join their fanclub. Unfortunately I couldn't find it. At least the one in english. I guess they didn't expect to promote beyond South Korea yet. I mean, they just debuted last september, so....But one cool thing is that their fanclub's official name is actually B2AUTY. Cool huh? So sad it's not in English!!!!!
And because of that, I became really interested in them. They're like super cool group. All of them can actually sing very very very well, except for one of them who's specialised in rapping. I was like =0 when I first saw which one of them sang a particular part in a particular song. All of them have very nice voice, like unique kinda voice.
Sad thing is, they're all younger than me except for two of the older ones. And my favourite is of course younger than me. I mean, the chances for me to like a younger one is like 2/3. His name is Yang Yo Seob. He is the main vocalist and boy, can he sing.
I actually had the 冲动 to join their fanclub. Unfortunately I couldn't find it. At least the one in english. I guess they didn't expect to promote beyond South Korea yet. I mean, they just debuted last september, so....But one cool thing is that their fanclub's official name is actually B2AUTY. Cool huh? So sad it's not in English!!!!!
Physio block test and biochem test
Don't know why, but I just couldn't focus on my studies nowadays, even when I have two major tests next week. Seriously, sometimes, I feel like stranggling myself for not being able to concentrate and all. I felt the need to study but even so, the more I feel the need, the more I don't want to study. Like I have brain freeze or something. When I started looking at my books, my mind just went blank. Nothing would exactly register. I would just stare at the page for like half an hour or so, and nothing.
Sigh................seriously!!! I need something to pull my motivation together.
And physio block test is like the most important test during the second year and the fact that I'm like still 不凉不热 doesn't actually help. I know very well it's very important and super hard as well, but my brain just wouldn't work the way I want it to work.
Damn it!!! If only I can find the motivation to study that I had during my first year........!!!!!!
Sigh................seriously!!! I need something to pull my motivation together.
And physio block test is like the most important test during the second year and the fact that I'm like still 不凉不热 doesn't actually help. I know very well it's very important and super hard as well, but my brain just wouldn't work the way I want it to work.
Damn it!!! If only I can find the motivation to study that I had during my first year........!!!!!!
Blame it on the hormone!!!
There was once I heard from a movie saying that women like to "dissect" every little thing that men said. Well, today I learnt that it's not our fault as females that we have better memories and remember every single word a person said. That's because of our hormone, estrogen, that made us have these qualities.
Seriously, when I first watched the movie, I was like, "That's so true." kinda thing. I actually felt why we as females would be like that. Well, today's physio lecture taught me to appreciate that because it actually meant that we have better memories too. Hihi!!
Seriously, when I first watched the movie, I was like, "That's so true." kinda thing. I actually felt why we as females would be like that. Well, today's physio lecture taught me to appreciate that because it actually meant that we have better memories too. Hihi!!
Memorable indeed!
As always, fridays are like super fun day. However, the definition of "fun" for me was brought another level up cause....hihi....well, all I can say is that my ipod finally contributed to my life welfare other than being my faithful music mate.
Not long ago, a guy that's like super perfect to me, as in fulfilling all my criteria of my ideal boyfriend appeared. Oh well, it's an impossible dream anyway but of course, I mean, when someone like that appear, you just can't help but have a crush on them. He can play BOTH piano and violin which is like a criteria that very few people can fulfill. When Sanggy heard about that he can play both these instruments, she straight away said to me, "OMG!! He fulfills your criteria!!!". In other words, he's perfect!!
Anyway, this guy, K, is a bit distant from me. It was because I seldom see him but we're ok. I mean, at least, we're friend. Sometimes, he will "kacau" me and talk to me.
Last night was really memorable!! First, I just made like made a "鬼脸" at him. Then he came and shook my hand. In a very weird way indeed. The sort off very punky and manly kinda hand shake.
After that, when he saw that I let Yeng Tong listen to my ipod, he said he wanted to listen as well. Then he took my ipod and listened to my songs. He went through all my playlists apparently. While he doing so, he suddenly just like swayed towards the music. I was like uh-oh, what should I do.
I was of course happy about this..Hihi...It is a super memorable scene!! Muahahahahaha!!!
Not long ago, a guy that's like super perfect to me, as in fulfilling all my criteria of my ideal boyfriend appeared. Oh well, it's an impossible dream anyway but of course, I mean, when someone like that appear, you just can't help but have a crush on them. He can play BOTH piano and violin which is like a criteria that very few people can fulfill. When Sanggy heard about that he can play both these instruments, she straight away said to me, "OMG!! He fulfills your criteria!!!". In other words, he's perfect!!
Anyway, this guy, K, is a bit distant from me. It was because I seldom see him but we're ok. I mean, at least, we're friend. Sometimes, he will "kacau" me and talk to me.
Last night was really memorable!! First, I just made like made a "鬼脸" at him. Then he came and shook my hand. In a very weird way indeed. The sort off very punky and manly kinda hand shake.
After that, when he saw that I let Yeng Tong listen to my ipod, he said he wanted to listen as well. Then he took my ipod and listened to my songs. He went through all my playlists apparently. While he doing so, he suddenly just like swayed towards the music. I was like uh-oh, what should I do.
I was of course happy about this..Hihi...It is a super memorable scene!! Muahahahahaha!!!
Microbiology practicals finally over!!!!
It was a damn tiring week. Starting from Monday, I was having class from 9am every day. Was damn straining. And yesterday, it finally marks the end to it.
Yesterday's atmosphere was a bit weird though. Some people actually like took a picture of our group. It was like they were a bit "sayang".
It's ok. I mean, the whole practical was fun except that I had to get up like super early everyday, well 7.30am is a bit too early for me. Then, some more, all my classes end like super late kind. And I had test. It's like the worst week ever during my second year.
And I sure hope I pass my test yesterday. Actually, I shouldn't really blame it on the practicals. Hate to admit it, I guess it wouldn't have been so tiring if I didn't keep on watching my korean drama and went to bed earlier. Hihi!
At least I did learn a lot though, at least about what bacteria colonies I carry. Lol!! I have a quite infectious colony in my throat and another weirdo colony as well. Lol!!! Not bad I guess.
Yesterday's atmosphere was a bit weird though. Some people actually like took a picture of our group. It was like they were a bit "sayang".
It's ok. I mean, the whole practical was fun except that I had to get up like super early everyday, well 7.30am is a bit too early for me. Then, some more, all my classes end like super late kind. And I had test. It's like the worst week ever during my second year.
And I sure hope I pass my test yesterday. Actually, I shouldn't really blame it on the practicals. Hate to admit it, I guess it wouldn't have been so tiring if I didn't keep on watching my korean drama and went to bed earlier. Hihi!
At least I did learn a lot though, at least about what bacteria colonies I carry. Lol!! I have a quite infectious colony in my throat and another weirdo colony as well. Lol!!! Not bad I guess.
Fact #3
Sigh.........................
I just realised a very weird thing about me. Apparently I can memorise song lyrics pretty fast but then it takes me ages to memorise even a simple term for any subjects. Don't understand why. If only i can do as well in my studies as in lyrics, I guess i won't have so much trouble and worries..........
I just realised a very weird thing about me. Apparently I can memorise song lyrics pretty fast but then it takes me ages to memorise even a simple term for any subjects. Don't understand why. If only i can do as well in my studies as in lyrics, I guess i won't have so much trouble and worries..........
I'm a hypocrite myself
There are so many hypocrites around me that I really dislike living among them. I kept on going through in my head what they did and what they said and stuffs like that. But in the end, I realise, I'm actually quite a hypocrite myself.
I remember telling my brother once, "You know, your sister is also a very big hypocrite." I told him that when I was relating him to one of the stories of my friends whom I've hurt. I remember saying this person shouldn't do this and that to another person when I did the almost same thing to the other person. So, in the end, it's just like 以五十步笑百步. I always said that I didn't mean it, but then I mean, I had choices but I chose to hurt someone unknowingly.
I can bet there is someone out there who's very annoyed at me as well. Who thinks that my every move is actually very irritating. Who dislikes me a lot. And I don't blame them, cause I know it's my own fault.
The way that I am, the way that I behave, I am ashamed to say that I don't live the life as a Christian. Barely. I couldn't forgive people. I'm not considerate. I'm bias, being especially nice to only a certain people. Conclusion? I'm a HUGE hypocrite.
I remember telling my brother once, "You know, your sister is also a very big hypocrite." I told him that when I was relating him to one of the stories of my friends whom I've hurt. I remember saying this person shouldn't do this and that to another person when I did the almost same thing to the other person. So, in the end, it's just like 以五十步笑百步. I always said that I didn't mean it, but then I mean, I had choices but I chose to hurt someone unknowingly.
I can bet there is someone out there who's very annoyed at me as well. Who thinks that my every move is actually very irritating. Who dislikes me a lot. And I don't blame them, cause I know it's my own fault.
The way that I am, the way that I behave, I am ashamed to say that I don't live the life as a Christian. Barely. I couldn't forgive people. I'm not considerate. I'm bias, being especially nice to only a certain people. Conclusion? I'm a HUGE hypocrite.
You are my everything
YouTube - You Are My Everything [Obstetrics and Gynecology Doctors OST] vietsub.AVI
This is like the saddest episode so far in the O and G series. In this episode, a pregnant woman got into an accident and ended up brain-dead. The baby's only 22 weeks old. Since's the mother's brain was already dead, so the doctors were asking the family whether they want to take off the life-support machine, but was asking them to wait for another week so that the baby will grow another week to be able to survive if delivered. This episode featured how the husband struggled to make the decision and all. The most saddening part was of course at the end, when the mother's body started to fail, they had to deliver the baby through C-section of course. After the doctors took out the baby, they asked the father to bring the baby to the mother's side as they would usually do. As soon as he was at her side, his emotions just ran out of control. The anaethetic doctor told him that he would take the oxygen off from the mother. When he took it off, the father was like crazy, he yelled and cried.It was damn heartbreaking moment.
I cried like hell at the end. The series seems to dampened their "tearful" mode cause after that, there's not much case like this anymore. Was really looking forward to more stories like this. Damn! Even though I cried like hell, I still like this series a lot!!!
This is like the saddest episode so far in the O and G series. In this episode, a pregnant woman got into an accident and ended up brain-dead. The baby's only 22 weeks old. Since's the mother's brain was already dead, so the doctors were asking the family whether they want to take off the life-support machine, but was asking them to wait for another week so that the baby will grow another week to be able to survive if delivered. This episode featured how the husband struggled to make the decision and all. The most saddening part was of course at the end, when the mother's body started to fail, they had to deliver the baby through C-section of course. After the doctors took out the baby, they asked the father to bring the baby to the mother's side as they would usually do. As soon as he was at her side, his emotions just ran out of control. The anaethetic doctor told him that he would take the oxygen off from the mother. When he took it off, the father was like crazy, he yelled and cried.It was damn heartbreaking moment.
I cried like hell at the end. The series seems to dampened their "tearful" mode cause after that, there's not much case like this anymore. Was really looking forward to more stories like this. Damn! Even though I cried like hell, I still like this series a lot!!!
"He is born to live"
Started watching the korean series "Obstetician and Gyniecologist" yesterday. Everyone told me it was a very nice series and such. Of course, I thought how can korean dramas be any more dramatic than they already were so I delayed this series till I finished the other series.
Hell I was wrong. It was dramatic of course but very touching as well. I mean, even though it's embarassing, but I never cried so much over a series or movie before. Today, I watched the second episode. It was super touching. It's about a mother giving birth to a pair of twins. One of them was healthy and the other had ichytyosis which is the skin is susceptible to bacteria more than normal. The baby's size was very small.
The doctors were trying hard not to tell the mother because she just had a C-section so they just let the father know. The mother kept on asking them about what happened to the second baby until they had to lie to her that the baby was dead. The baby had only maximum 2 months to live. The father told the doctors, "Please try your best to treat him. He's born to live too."
Fuah, I tell you. It was damn damn touching. Somehow, watching this series gave me a bit of motivation in my studies now. I really hope I will continue to work really really hard.
Hell I was wrong. It was dramatic of course but very touching as well. I mean, even though it's embarassing, but I never cried so much over a series or movie before. Today, I watched the second episode. It was super touching. It's about a mother giving birth to a pair of twins. One of them was healthy and the other had ichytyosis which is the skin is susceptible to bacteria more than normal. The baby's size was very small.
The doctors were trying hard not to tell the mother because she just had a C-section so they just let the father know. The mother kept on asking them about what happened to the second baby until they had to lie to her that the baby was dead. The baby had only maximum 2 months to live. The father told the doctors, "Please try your best to treat him. He's born to live too."
Fuah, I tell you. It was damn damn touching. Somehow, watching this series gave me a bit of motivation in my studies now. I really hope I will continue to work really really hard.
Never ending chapters to read.....
Seriously, wanna go crazy already. How come there are so many chapters in physio and biochem? And man, how I regretted for totally let go of these 2 subjects during last semester. Fuah, now I have to read new stuffs which were supposed to be studied last semester. Will I ever catch up? Damn damn!!!
Looking at how people answered questions in the lessons makes me really nervous. I felt like shit the other day during biochem practicals when the assistant was asking some "alien" questions and people actually answered and understood while I stood thinking, "Er.........We were taught those before?"
During physio practical, the Professor said, "Exam's coming and nobody is prepared." I was like :0 And when I thought everything through, it's really very near in fact. It's just 2 months away. Gosh!! And I still have the whole Guyton to "telan". Man, I'm really dead meat.
Anyone who's reading my blog, please do DO pray for me that I won't get so addicted to the series anymore and start studying!!! But then again, it's really hard to let go of the series. Sigh.................................Can somebody help me control myself???
Looking at how people answered questions in the lessons makes me really nervous. I felt like shit the other day during biochem practicals when the assistant was asking some "alien" questions and people actually answered and understood while I stood thinking, "Er.........We were taught those before?"
During physio practical, the Professor said, "Exam's coming and nobody is prepared." I was like :0 And when I thought everything through, it's really very near in fact. It's just 2 months away. Gosh!! And I still have the whole Guyton to "telan". Man, I'm really dead meat.
Anyone who's reading my blog, please do DO pray for me that I won't get so addicted to the series anymore and start studying!!! But then again, it's really hard to let go of the series. Sigh.................................Can somebody help me control myself???
Do I look like "invicible"?
Apparently, to a particular friend of mine, I seem like a person who will laugh at any insult he/she hurl at me. Probably, in his/her eyes, I am not a very important person that he/she can dispose of anytime he/she wants. Maybe I'm the only one who's like treasuring this friendship.
He/she might think that I am somewhat "invicible". If only he/she knows, seriously, if only....Would he/she choose to act the way he/she did?
Sometimes, I know that he/she didn't mean it in the hard way, but then, sometimes, he/she just didn't know what's "overboard". How many chance do I have to give? Anyone can tell me?
To a normal person, would "as if you know me lot" be as hurting or am I just plain sensitive? I wonder........
He/she might think that I am somewhat "invicible". If only he/she knows, seriously, if only....Would he/she choose to act the way he/she did?
Sometimes, I know that he/she didn't mean it in the hard way, but then, sometimes, he/she just didn't know what's "overboard". How many chance do I have to give? Anyone can tell me?
To a normal person, would "as if you know me lot" be as hurting or am I just plain sensitive? I wonder........
Where is the old "me"?
Seriously, looking back, I've definitely changed a lot i guess. To compare how I was when I was before 12 and now, definitely different.
I was a very carefree person when I was young. I mean, I couldn't even give a damn about my results and all. I can still remember during UPSR, I didn't even turn a single page of my books. What I did was, went to the super early mass and then went for Laksa then it's off to the exam hall. And without my mom keeping track of the subjects that I was supposed to have, I guess I would have entered the hall and just know the subject when the papers were handed to me. It was so much fun that time. However, of course, because i had interest in some of the subjects, I just learn them without caring about the "big" exam. Got to know that the results were supposed to come out from the radio the day before. Hehe....I really miss that time.
Now, constantly worried about how am I supposed to control my addiction to drama series and stuffs like that so that I can study.
When I first decided to become a doctor, the main reason was that I could share my "cheerfulness" with my patients and of course at the same time able to help them. But then, it seems to be impossible now. I mean, looking at how pathetic I've become, seriously, I sometimes feel that the motivation of being a doctor is actually long gone before I knew it. Every now and then, would question myself, why am I doing this? Why did i have to be so ambitious? What started as an interest suddenly feels like a burden.
Confusions and self-debating has become part of my every day routine.
But somehow, I made it through first year, and definitely only with His help. And because of this, I know that what He wants me to be, is to be a doctor. But, I can't seem to think of any reason for me to be one.
I was a very carefree person when I was young. I mean, I couldn't even give a damn about my results and all. I can still remember during UPSR, I didn't even turn a single page of my books. What I did was, went to the super early mass and then went for Laksa then it's off to the exam hall. And without my mom keeping track of the subjects that I was supposed to have, I guess I would have entered the hall and just know the subject when the papers were handed to me. It was so much fun that time. However, of course, because i had interest in some of the subjects, I just learn them without caring about the "big" exam. Got to know that the results were supposed to come out from the radio the day before. Hehe....I really miss that time.
Now, constantly worried about how am I supposed to control my addiction to drama series and stuffs like that so that I can study.
When I first decided to become a doctor, the main reason was that I could share my "cheerfulness" with my patients and of course at the same time able to help them. But then, it seems to be impossible now. I mean, looking at how pathetic I've become, seriously, I sometimes feel that the motivation of being a doctor is actually long gone before I knew it. Every now and then, would question myself, why am I doing this? Why did i have to be so ambitious? What started as an interest suddenly feels like a burden.
Confusions and self-debating has become part of my every day routine.
But somehow, I made it through first year, and definitely only with His help. And because of this, I know that what He wants me to be, is to be a doctor. But, I can't seem to think of any reason for me to be one.
Fact #2
I just realised that actually this Chinese New Year had a lot to offer me. I know, it's been ages since CNY but new things kept on popping into my head every now and then.
I used to be close to 2 of my cousins, a younger cousin sister and an older cousin brother. My cousin brother is a year older than me. We used to be very close. There was a period of time where the three of us were the only young ones so we always played together.
But somehow, as years gone by, I didn't know why but I just realised that it was my fault that somehow our relationship just suddenly became kinda far. We didn't talk to each other during family occasions and stuffs like that. Slowly, we grew apart. In fact, during the following years after I started not talking to them, we didn't even exchange a word every year. Pathetic right? My own cousins...
Then, that day when I went back for Chinese New Year, I didn't know what got into me but I somehow changed and just had conversation with practically everyone. In fact, when my brother's friends visited us, my brother actually talked less to them than I did.
Then, I met my cousins I mentioned before. The cousin brother whom I grew further apart (because the other cousin was in the same school as me, at least we did talk a bit during the 5 years of course) became quite comfortable with me when I just showed a small friendly gesture - smile. I was quite surprise how the events turned out to be. He defended me when my brother "bullied" me. He shared with me a lot of things. We actually talked a lot and I realised how it was actually my fault that things became how they were before then.
Probably it's because I have left home that I began to see things more clearly now.
I used to be close to 2 of my cousins, a younger cousin sister and an older cousin brother. My cousin brother is a year older than me. We used to be very close. There was a period of time where the three of us were the only young ones so we always played together.
But somehow, as years gone by, I didn't know why but I just realised that it was my fault that somehow our relationship just suddenly became kinda far. We didn't talk to each other during family occasions and stuffs like that. Slowly, we grew apart. In fact, during the following years after I started not talking to them, we didn't even exchange a word every year. Pathetic right? My own cousins...
Then, that day when I went back for Chinese New Year, I didn't know what got into me but I somehow changed and just had conversation with practically everyone. In fact, when my brother's friends visited us, my brother actually talked less to them than I did.
Then, I met my cousins I mentioned before. The cousin brother whom I grew further apart (because the other cousin was in the same school as me, at least we did talk a bit during the 5 years of course) became quite comfortable with me when I just showed a small friendly gesture - smile. I was quite surprise how the events turned out to be. He defended me when my brother "bullied" me. He shared with me a lot of things. We actually talked a lot and I realised how it was actually my fault that things became how they were before then.
Probably it's because I have left home that I began to see things more clearly now.
Fact #1
Like I said, this blog is about what I learn as I go through every day of my life. So, here one funny fact which my brother told me.
The other day, when I went to my bro's place in Singapore, I was relating him to someone I know whom can be regarded as a good "decipher" of people's character. When I told him that this certain person said he/she can quite pretty much figure out someone's character without knowing the other person better, as in not even talking to the other person.
Guess what my brother said? He said, "Doesnt that mean he/she is judging people as well?"
Fuah, now that I think of it, I feel stupid for admiring that friend of mine who can "see" people quite correctly, cause in a way it's just making you judge people.
Of course, by doing this, you can save yourself from being hurt by others but then at the same time, what the heck? I mean, I think I would rather take the hurt or fall or whatever than ever trying to judge people again.
But then again, if you hurt me once, there's definitely no turning back. You're sentenced to "forever-untrustable-being" category. Lol!!!
Living with prejudice you might say? Neh, it doesn't always happen like that. If you hurt me once, I'll be ok if you sincerely try to make up for it. But if you do it more than once and never show any guilt, WHAM!! You're OUT!!
The other day, when I went to my bro's place in Singapore, I was relating him to someone I know whom can be regarded as a good "decipher" of people's character. When I told him that this certain person said he/she can quite pretty much figure out someone's character without knowing the other person better, as in not even talking to the other person.
Guess what my brother said? He said, "Doesnt that mean he/she is judging people as well?"
Fuah, now that I think of it, I feel stupid for admiring that friend of mine who can "see" people quite correctly, cause in a way it's just making you judge people.
Of course, by doing this, you can save yourself from being hurt by others but then at the same time, what the heck? I mean, I think I would rather take the hurt or fall or whatever than ever trying to judge people again.
But then again, if you hurt me once, there's definitely no turning back. You're sentenced to "forever-untrustable-being" category. Lol!!!
Living with prejudice you might say? Neh, it doesn't always happen like that. If you hurt me once, I'll be ok if you sincerely try to make up for it. But if you do it more than once and never show any guilt, WHAM!! You're OUT!!
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