Recently I got to know this person. A normal healthy guy. I mean, at least he looks pretty healthy to me. However, don't know if his brain is "cuckoo" or what.
Anyway, whenever you meet someone and greet them, people would say hello back to you and their face would of course curl into what we call a smile right? Some would say hi without smiling. Some would just smiled slightly. Well, at least for those kinda expression, for sure, you know that it's really S-M-I-L-I-N-G. Then this guy I was talking about, he says hi or hello or whatever, but then there's the twitching in the face which till now I couldn't "decipher" as smiling or is he angry at me or something in between?
And then, there's this another guy which I also got to know recently. Whenever I greet him, yes, he would smile and say hi BUT his eyes just bore into you as if he's saying something else or he has something else to say but holding back kinda thing. OMG...now that I think of it, it really does send chills down my spine. Creepy!!
I have a very Almighty friend - God
I always have the tendency to just listen to a song of praise and worship again and again for many times in one period of time and just really surprised and awed by God.
Lately, I keep on listening to Your Love Is Extravagant by Casting Crowns. I was amazed by the fact that I'm actually friend with God, can you imagine, God is my friend. Cool eh? Yup, I think so too.
And the most amazing thing is, He loves me so much. I have an intimate relationship with The Most High not because of my part but because of His extravagant love, He who spreads out His wings to cover my sins and called me a friend and a daughter. Oh, how His love capture my heart!!! How amazing it is!! He loves me till the point that He died for me. Sacrificing so many things. He became the humblest of all by becoming a human to die for sinners like me. He became even humble yet by dying on the cross.
No greater love have I ever known; He considered me a friend....
Lately, I keep on listening to Your Love Is Extravagant by Casting Crowns. I was amazed by the fact that I'm actually friend with God, can you imagine, God is my friend. Cool eh? Yup, I think so too.
And the most amazing thing is, He loves me so much. I have an intimate relationship with The Most High not because of my part but because of His extravagant love, He who spreads out His wings to cover my sins and called me a friend and a daughter. Oh, how His love capture my heart!!! How amazing it is!! He loves me till the point that He died for me. Sacrificing so many things. He became the humblest of all by becoming a human to die for sinners like me. He became even humble yet by dying on the cross.
No greater love have I ever known; He considered me a friend....
Your love is extravagant ~ Casting Crowns
Your Love Is Extravagant lyrics
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
If you look back at the year and you don't feel sad, happy, angry or anything, then it's wasted -Ally Mcbeal
Well, I started watching this series like this week and I really like it a lot. Anyway, the very last episode of the first season, there was a character inside that said that "If you look back on the past year and you don't feel sad, happy, angry or anything, then it's wasted."
And I must say, before this I really thought that my last year was a wasted year but now that I think of it after much thinking, it's definitely not wasted. There are so much memories. Memories that make me cry. Memories that make me laugh. Memories that turn my stomach. Memories that make me want to dig a hole and hide myself.
All these memories are the ones that make last year memorable. Of course, there are the sad memories that make you think that it's wasted, but in the end, it actually colours up your memories, only in the shade of grey. Well then, grey can actually just make the whole picture more intensity and beauty.
Life is only beautiful with the different shades of colours including the darker shades.
And I must say, before this I really thought that my last year was a wasted year but now that I think of it after much thinking, it's definitely not wasted. There are so much memories. Memories that make me cry. Memories that make me laugh. Memories that turn my stomach. Memories that make me want to dig a hole and hide myself.
All these memories are the ones that make last year memorable. Of course, there are the sad memories that make you think that it's wasted, but in the end, it actually colours up your memories, only in the shade of grey. Well then, grey can actually just make the whole picture more intensity and beauty.
Life is only beautiful with the different shades of colours including the darker shades.
Another Regret
There was once when one of my friends told me that my thoughts of "Why I didn't pass?", "Why I didn't study harder?", "Why I have to be retained?", "Why do I have to miss out so much" will always ring inside my head from time to time this whole year and true enough, they are always ringing in my head.
And honestly, I was really looking forward to be moving forward because actually there's this guy who's a year senior than me that I had a crush on, and if I were not retained, I was thinking that I would have the possibility to meet him more since we're only a year apart.
Now that I think of it, damn it, I will hardly get another chance of meeting him more now, now that we're two years apart. He will graduate two years earlier than me. Our schedule is so different now because he's doing clinical rotation already and I'm still stuck in second year that we would never actually have a chance of bumping into each other on the way to class or in the menza even.
Seriously, this retaining a year is pissing me off. I have so many regrets because of this. Now, I'll even miss out the chance of even talking to the guy again too. SHIT!!!
And honestly, I was really looking forward to be moving forward because actually there's this guy who's a year senior than me that I had a crush on, and if I were not retained, I was thinking that I would have the possibility to meet him more since we're only a year apart.
Now that I think of it, damn it, I will hardly get another chance of meeting him more now, now that we're two years apart. He will graduate two years earlier than me. Our schedule is so different now because he's doing clinical rotation already and I'm still stuck in second year that we would never actually have a chance of bumping into each other on the way to class or in the menza even.
Seriously, this retaining a year is pissing me off. I have so many regrets because of this. Now, I'll even miss out the chance of even talking to the guy again too. SHIT!!!
Personal Testimony 4
Well, it's been seriously long since I last talked about any friend of mine. Well then, the friend I'm about to talk about, it took me quite a long time to actually write about him despite that he's constantly on my mind that it didn't occur to me to actually write about him.
I met him not long ago in a most unlikely situation. He's sort of my superior or at least my supervisor, but he acted more like a friend to me than anything else. The first time we met was at night. Had super awkward introduction mostly from my part because when he stuck out his hand, I didn't shake it but instead reached for my bottle. That's embarrasing.
The thing about this friend of mine is that he's a real gentleman and the most "gentleman" guy I've ever come across. A very polite guy. A bit weird the first time I worked with him because apparently he always "side-lined" me every time. Other than me, there were two other guys working with us. Most of the time, he kinda just talked to the other two. Of course he was a real sweet and funny guy. When he let us off for the night, he actually made sure that the other two guys sent me home because of the late hour. Well, actually, despite that they gave the word to send me home, I actually ended up going home alone at 11pm. Real "gentlemen" they were!
Another thing about this guy I'm talking about is that he's really caring and sweet. As the other two guys didn't come for the following two working sessions, I guess this friend had no choice but talked to me more. Surprisingly, he remembered everything about me when I didn't think that he would. Even the smallest details I mean. For example, I didn't think that he actually noticed when I nodded when he asked about anyone wanting to become a paediatrician even though he kinda ignored me during the first session. And he even remembered my glove size that he always took for me whenever I needed them. When he wanted to teach me something, he asked me to sit while he squatted next to me and taught me everything he knows. When I cut myself, he stopped everything and immediately tend to my cut. And after the first cut, he was always mindful when he gave me something to do that might hurt myself and made all the necessary preparations.
I had a really great time with him during the four days I worked with him. He would force me do things when I kinda pleaded not to do, and laughed after that. I enjoyed talking to him about random things. Actually other than him, I really enjoyed the time I worked with the other people I met during the four days including the two other "not gentlemen".
This friend of mine had a bit of disagreement about religion stuffs. We talked about this for very long. He's an atheist you see. And he gave quite a good speech actually when we talked.
One thing I like him so much is because he's very very considerate. He noticed even the slightest discomfort in me and tried to do everything to ease me.
I must say, I really miss him a lot because I didn't see him after those days working with him and won't see him ever again. He's a very nice guy that I really pray that God will someday touch his heart and save him.
I met him not long ago in a most unlikely situation. He's sort of my superior or at least my supervisor, but he acted more like a friend to me than anything else. The first time we met was at night. Had super awkward introduction mostly from my part because when he stuck out his hand, I didn't shake it but instead reached for my bottle. That's embarrasing.
The thing about this friend of mine is that he's a real gentleman and the most "gentleman" guy I've ever come across. A very polite guy. A bit weird the first time I worked with him because apparently he always "side-lined" me every time. Other than me, there were two other guys working with us. Most of the time, he kinda just talked to the other two. Of course he was a real sweet and funny guy. When he let us off for the night, he actually made sure that the other two guys sent me home because of the late hour. Well, actually, despite that they gave the word to send me home, I actually ended up going home alone at 11pm. Real "gentlemen" they were!
Another thing about this guy I'm talking about is that he's really caring and sweet. As the other two guys didn't come for the following two working sessions, I guess this friend had no choice but talked to me more. Surprisingly, he remembered everything about me when I didn't think that he would. Even the smallest details I mean. For example, I didn't think that he actually noticed when I nodded when he asked about anyone wanting to become a paediatrician even though he kinda ignored me during the first session. And he even remembered my glove size that he always took for me whenever I needed them. When he wanted to teach me something, he asked me to sit while he squatted next to me and taught me everything he knows. When I cut myself, he stopped everything and immediately tend to my cut. And after the first cut, he was always mindful when he gave me something to do that might hurt myself and made all the necessary preparations.
I had a really great time with him during the four days I worked with him. He would force me do things when I kinda pleaded not to do, and laughed after that. I enjoyed talking to him about random things. Actually other than him, I really enjoyed the time I worked with the other people I met during the four days including the two other "not gentlemen".
This friend of mine had a bit of disagreement about religion stuffs. We talked about this for very long. He's an atheist you see. And he gave quite a good speech actually when we talked.
One thing I like him so much is because he's very very considerate. He noticed even the slightest discomfort in me and tried to do everything to ease me.
I must say, I really miss him a lot because I didn't see him after those days working with him and won't see him ever again. He's a very nice guy that I really pray that God will someday touch his heart and save him.
Yiruma - Kiss The Rain (Full Version)
Totally love this piece and the guy that played it even though he's married. Lol!! But seriously, guys who can play piano are really super very absolutely charismatic. It's as if that those people that play piano are made good-looking when they do. So nice!!!
Like Yiruma a lot because his songs are very nice. I wonder if he will ever have a concert here in Prague....hmmm...
1 Peter 1: 6-7
1 Peter 1:6-7
In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith - being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by the fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
It's unbelievable and funny that I actually came to this verse when watching House. But when I heard it, it hit me hard. And I must say, it was because of this verse, when I met something just now that almost sucked the misery inside of me out again, I managed to just stay happy still.
It's funny how things can turn out to be and how God choose to speak to you. =)
In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith - being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by the fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
It's unbelievable and funny that I actually came to this verse when watching House. But when I heard it, it hit me hard. And I must say, it was because of this verse, when I met something just now that almost sucked the misery inside of me out again, I managed to just stay happy still.
It's funny how things can turn out to be and how God choose to speak to you. =)
A Prayer to Be Shared
Live the belief
Holy God,
You invite me to live the Gospel
message, not just hear and accept it. It
is not enough to say I believe. I need to
live that belief.
I need to lovingly serve you, God, and all my
brothers and siters.
I need to seek knowledge of your word and
follow it faithfully.
I need to exercise self-control and avoid
temptations.
I need to build endurance to stand firm
against life's trials.
I need to value truth and goodness.
Provide me with the fruits of your spirit to
sustain me for my journey, as I work to
imitate your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Holy God,
You invite me to live the Gospel
message, not just hear and accept it. It
is not enough to say I believe. I need to
live that belief.
I need to lovingly serve you, God, and all my
brothers and siters.
I need to seek knowledge of your word and
follow it faithfully.
I need to exercise self-control and avoid
temptations.
I need to build endurance to stand firm
against life's trials.
I need to value truth and goodness.
Provide me with the fruits of your spirit to
sustain me for my journey, as I work to
imitate your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Remaining in Christ
Recently, I just finished a very good book called "The Shack". It is about a spiritual journey of a father who lost his child in a super cruel way and how he actually met God. Amazing huh? Yup, and best of all, it's a true story apparently.
I must say, this book has done me lots of good. I cried most of the time when I was reading it.
Anyway, on Friday during bible study, we learnt something about always remaining in Christ when we are doing something and things might just fall apart if you don't. And for me, it's so true.
Throughout this whole time when I started studying medicine, apparently, I lost my vision and focus and I fed on my identity as a medical student rather than my purpose of studying medicine. And that's when it all fell apart.
Somehow this topic has touched me deeply and something in "The Shack" actually struck something inside of me. In the book, it was said that God doesn't meant for bad things to happen, (bad things happen only because Satan is at work), God will try to make the best out of the situation - greatest work of love out of it. So after the bible study, I realised that because my start out point in studying medicine has been wrong, I slowly drifted away from God, things fell apart and God is starting to make the best out of this ordeal of mine, to show me His unfailing love for me.
After reading this book, there's a part that stuck in my mind deeply. That is, even when the worst thing is happening, God is always there, the Holy Spirit is there with us throughout the whole way even though we may not realise that. And that the Holy Spirit is collecting every single tear we cry and it's the most precious thing to God. It's just so amazing when I realise how much God loves me, loves everyone.
I must say, this book has done me lots of good. I cried most of the time when I was reading it.
Anyway, on Friday during bible study, we learnt something about always remaining in Christ when we are doing something and things might just fall apart if you don't. And for me, it's so true.
Throughout this whole time when I started studying medicine, apparently, I lost my vision and focus and I fed on my identity as a medical student rather than my purpose of studying medicine. And that's when it all fell apart.
Somehow this topic has touched me deeply and something in "The Shack" actually struck something inside of me. In the book, it was said that God doesn't meant for bad things to happen, (bad things happen only because Satan is at work), God will try to make the best out of the situation - greatest work of love out of it. So after the bible study, I realised that because my start out point in studying medicine has been wrong, I slowly drifted away from God, things fell apart and God is starting to make the best out of this ordeal of mine, to show me His unfailing love for me.
After reading this book, there's a part that stuck in my mind deeply. That is, even when the worst thing is happening, God is always there, the Holy Spirit is there with us throughout the whole way even though we may not realise that. And that the Holy Spirit is collecting every single tear we cry and it's the most precious thing to God. It's just so amazing when I realise how much God loves me, loves everyone.
Surprise surprise...
Today, on my way to my church, passed by the most beautiful scenery here in Prague. A thought just suddenly occured - well, I can enjoy this kind of beauty for another extra year..
I don't know but slowly I'm seeing the better side of being retained. And so many things came as a surprise to me as I tried counting the blessings in disguise through this ordeal of mine.
For one, the friends in my church are growing closer to me because of what I've been through. They check on me every single Sunday when we meet in church which is of course a nice thing, knowing that you have friends outside school.
Another thing, well, I've grown closer to this guy whom I had crush on. Hahahahaha...It's totally unpredictable...Lol! I know, this isn't exactly a blessing but still, this guy actually grows more comfortable and caring towards me. Hahahahahahaha.....totally happy about this. How to say more "comfortable" and "caring"? Well, hmmm.....Muahahahahahaha...Gosh, my face is getting warmer as I talk about this.Lol!!!
Another quite important thing, the amount of free time I have allows me to be able to travel around more often. I mean, a trip can just pop up and I'll be all ready to go for it. Just like the trip that I just had last week to Poland. It was totally last minute and I must say, I really enjoyed the whole thing. I really enjoyed getting together with my close friends whom I haven't seen for years. Totally miss them!!!
I don't know about anything else but I can see that as the year goes by, I'm sure I'll find more and more good sides to this thing I'm going through. Hopefully..
I don't know but slowly I'm seeing the better side of being retained. And so many things came as a surprise to me as I tried counting the blessings in disguise through this ordeal of mine.
For one, the friends in my church are growing closer to me because of what I've been through. They check on me every single Sunday when we meet in church which is of course a nice thing, knowing that you have friends outside school.
Another thing, well, I've grown closer to this guy whom I had crush on. Hahahahaha...It's totally unpredictable...Lol! I know, this isn't exactly a blessing but still, this guy actually grows more comfortable and caring towards me. Hahahahahahaha.....totally happy about this. How to say more "comfortable" and "caring"? Well, hmmm.....Muahahahahahaha...Gosh, my face is getting warmer as I talk about this.Lol!!!
Another quite important thing, the amount of free time I have allows me to be able to travel around more often. I mean, a trip can just pop up and I'll be all ready to go for it. Just like the trip that I just had last week to Poland. It was totally last minute and I must say, I really enjoyed the whole thing. I really enjoyed getting together with my close friends whom I haven't seen for years. Totally miss them!!!
I don't know about anything else but I can see that as the year goes by, I'm sure I'll find more and more good sides to this thing I'm going through. Hopefully..
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