A Letter to the 30-year old me Posted by Bubbly89 , Friday, March 8, 2013 at 3:02 PM, in

Dear 30-year-old me,

Hi. Remember this? Well, you wrote this when you're 24 years old. So six years have passed? How have you been? Let's see if things have changed.

So now, I'm extremely bored of studying for my Hygiene and Epidemiology state exam that I've decided to write a nonsense letter to my future self. Great! I can see that my future is gonna be just "so bright". Well anyway, having said that, let's recount the things you've done for the past 24 years of your life. Well... Sort of...

First off, I'm now in my fourth year of my medical studies. Life has been rather filled with ups and downs. Having a bit of relationship problems with some people who just are basically inconsiderate and selfish. Still struggling to get through medical school without having a breakdown. So if you are, remember this. You have made it through then, why can't you now? Just remember you've been through worse, you can get through anything. But then again, what do I know what you've been through? Maybe the situation you're in now is even worse than those you've faced in med school right? But please, if anything fails, I really hope you still keep your faith. I know you may think that things are rather unfair, but do remember that God really loves you and what you're going through, HE totally understands and knows every single tear you've cried even and is crying Himself. But this all has to happen because HE has bigger plans for you. And HE's just pushing you to be better than yourself. So don't ever give up. Dream big girl!!!!

Well then, so I've gotten a bit sidetracked. Let's get back to our life now. The 24-year-old you or rather going to be 24-year-old you, just got a puppy at home which is called Benny. He's just 3 months old now. Bet he's a real big boy already. Maybe you should show him a picture of him now which I have tons of in my hand phone. Okay, so none of my brothers are married but at least my eldest brother has a girlfriend already. So I'm crossing my fingers and assuming that he's married now and has children and you're definitely an aunt now.

Okay, I've done school life. Family life. Okay, maybe I should say something about your various relationships. First, friendships. Well, currently, I'm very close to the people in my class, which I shall list down in case you've forgotten. There are Evon, Yu Xin and Ian (well, these three are the people you hang out with the most). Evon is currently the girl that I always gossip and shop with. Yu Xin is the girl that kinda forces me to study and takes care of me. Ian's, well, the person I've set as threshold for studying.... Lol!! Oh and my another close friend is Yeng Tong, who's in sixth year now and going to graduate soon. Gonna miss her lots!!! Hope you still keep in touch with these people. Please do... Even though I know from past records, it doesn't look too good. But please.................................................. Tell me you still call them from time to time... Do you?!!! Okay, close friend...close friends... Let's think. Who else? Oh, Douglas - the one who can cook and bake very well... My "sister" hahahaha.... Yee Yong - the one who always like to bully me. Speaking of bully, I seem to have a bit of affinity towards bullying by the See's. Cause there's another See who likes to bully me as well. See Hong Yih... But this guy has been an unexpected good friend.

Currently I'm staying with Adeline, Terri and Sanggeeta in apartment 26 on the street of Karlovo Namesti 15. Yeng Tong and Lee Peng's staying on the floor above me. Evon, Douglas and Yee Yong's in the apartment in another building.

Church friends... Hmm... Well, so far, I have quite a limited number of friends from the Catholic church I'm attending every week in Malostranske Namesti. There are Michael, Charlie (these two guys really supported me a lot when I was going through really hard times. They're like my brothers. I do hope you're still in contact with them too), Veronica (the lady who always sits with me during mass every Sunday and a super nice friend), Joseph and family (the warden whose family always asked and showed concern when they noticed I did not go to church for a very long time), Robert (Swedish guy who's a really nice guy but it's definitely been a while since I last saw him though. Hopefully he's still around in Prague), Solan (french mother from Reunion Island who I always go to Stations of the Cross with) and a few of the Phillipinos whose names I have trouble remembering but are always friendly to me. And Dave who's gone back to the US. Well, the friends I have in my own church are more of the assorted kind and not the all-students kind in the other church.

Okay, the best part. So far, I have zero boyfriends before. So far, I haven't been able to stay loyal to a crush for a long time. I don't have the vision of getting married or settling down as I don't want to be tied down by family life while I'm pursuing my career. So, how much have you changed? Have you changed some of these views? I seriously wonder.... Because so many people have told me that I will change my views in the future. So I really wonder if it's true... Wait, are you married now? Don't tell me you have kids already?!!! If it's true, then I guess you'll be beating yourself thinking to yourself, "Oh, those were the days when I had those kinds of thoughts..." O.M.G.. O.O

So dreams.... What dreams do I have now? Let's see... Well, I wish that I'll be either a surgeon or an anesthesiologist. So are you either of these? Or have you changed? Well, if you've given up, I really hope this will trigger your memory and bring back the fire and passion you had six years ago. If you're really one of these, great job!!! Proud of you. If you're still on the way, which is more likely, keep fighting on. You'll be there soon enough.

So, whatever it is, I hope you remember that you were once young and had dreams which I really hope you've fulfilled. If not, don't stop dreaming. If you're still dreaming, it's still good. Well... at least you still have this ability... hahaha... Either ways, I'm proud of you cause I'm sure you've given your best shot. Bye, 30-year-old me.

Lots of hope and passion

                                                                                                                24-year-old you    

Holiday that can be related to so many proverbs.... Posted by Bubbly89 , Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 2:56 PM, in

人不犯我，我不犯人 -- After thinking about what I've been through the past few weeks, suddenly this proverb just popped into my head.

Literally, it means if someone doesn't provoke me, I will not provoke him or her. Looking back at the encounters I had recently, not many people seem to be practicing this principle. It did seem like a few people were working really hard in keeping up in provoking me despite the fact that I never did them any wrong. Haih.... Maybe I give people an impression that just because I did not fight back, I did not care much about what they said to me or did to me.

Well, what most of them did not realize is that, despite them being the jerks that they were, I'm trying hard to practice the principle of “以和为贵”. So every time, when they said something rather mean, and I kept quiet, they just kept on trying to test my threshold of patience which sometimes I do realize that is quite high at times.

Familiarity breeds contempt. This saying has proven true and not true during my short holiday recently. After knowing a person for a long time and observing for a long time the kind of personality this person has and how this person actually treasures our friendship, this person who has been on the borderline between "good friends" and "friends", a final struck has finally pushed that person to the area of "friends". The many chances I had given were finally used up by this friend. Like I mentioned above, I never, in any way, ever tried to provoke anyone but this person just tirelessly tried to provoke me. Even though there are a few friends of mine who like to pick a fight with me, however, these people still respect my dignity and never tried to belittle me and even though I hate to admit it, I know these people really appreciate and care for me despite them always trying to bully me. This particular person just never learns its lesson even though I had raised a red flag before. Yet..... yet..... (shaking my head)... Unfortunately and regretfully, this person is officially in the "friends" zone.

Surprisingly, another person whom I never really tried knowing and never had good impression previously, has made my view of him changed totally. We were more of acquaintance last time. After going two trips with him, I really grow fond of him as a friend. During my trip to Budapest, one of my knee was hurting like hell maybe due to too much hiking of the hills and maybe too much walking from my Venice trip. This friend offered to wait while I rest to maybe reduce the pain. But I insisted on continuing with the sight-seeing. Then, when we reached a restaurant, I asked if any one of them was hungry, we could go in to have lunch but if not, we could continue. Then this friend said he wanted lunch. So we went in. But as the restaurant was full, I asked if this friend was really very hungry, if not, we could move on and maybe find another restaurant. He did not make any response but just kept quiet. Then another friend who was walking with us as well said maybe we could order take-away. Then this friend said that we entered the restaurant because I needed a rest as he did not think I could walk anymore. My jaw nearly dropped then. Hahahahahaha.... Cause I was actually really touched by his gesture. After that while we continued our walk, I did not realize I was limping because subconsciously I tried not putting the weight on the knee that was hurting, Suddenly, he said, "Oh, you're now limping already." I was amazed that he actually noticed when I did not realize myself. In this case, familiarity did not breed contempt but rather getting to know this friend better made me appreciate this friend even more.

What a year!! Posted by Bubbly89 , Monday, December 31, 2012 at 9:38 AM, in

When it has finally come down to the last few hours of 2012, feeling a bit sad and a bit unwilling to let go. This year I would say have been really a year of roller-coasters. It's amazing in a mere year, so many things happened now that I'm reminiscing about what happened.

Met a lot of new friends at the beginning of the year when I was going to skiing course organized by our school. Had a would-have-died-if-not-for-my-friend near death experience during that time. Seriously now that I think about it, it definitely was dangerous that time. Imagine, falling from a cliff onto a road just because the coach who was supposed to teaching me did not care to supervise my safety. Luckily enough, a friend saved my fall and the car on the road wasn't driving very fast.

And then, in summer, made a decision that I would never have made in previous years - staying back for another month in Prague to study for exam. Had a rough time after failing my Pathophysiology exam and was crying my eyes out. Man, the roller-coaster ride of emotion then!!! Definitely not something I would want to experience again despite the fact I've somehow managed to get on the ride again and again. Spent a month getting to know a friend whom I would never have the chance to know better if not for staying back. \

And then, there's my first trip to another country in the continent of Asia - China. Was definitely an awesome trip. My first time of actually stepping onto one of the Seven Wonders. Was definitely a different kind of feeling. And for the first time in my life, I stayed in a five-star hotel as well. And then of course, first time in my life, I've been cheated of my money, and not just some small sum but a huge one!!! So I would really say that the trip to China has been of bittersweet memories.

Made another trip to Switzerland again. This time the view was of course different than the last time because I've finally seen Switzerland in summer. Saw the most breath-taking scenery in my life. Made my way to the highest top of Europe. Managed to stay in a luxurious hotel with my brother because of the help of a very-fond-of-yet-hate friend.

Played another "cold war game" with the same friend I played with last time. But this time was a lot shorter than the previous one. It's either because I'm getting old or maybe I'm getting more matured or I just don't care so much about this friend anymore.

Other than that, this year has definitely been a year of outrageous crushes. Hahahaha... And of course, an outrageous decision. It was definitely fun to see the priceless facial expression of the friends that found out about some of my crushes. Seriously, a very-Kodak kinda picture.

What lies in the year ahead? I'm definitely looking forward to try a few things I have in mind of doing. A few more new experience. Maybe a few more new friends. Maybe a few more additions to my list of important-people-in-my-life. And maybe a few more surprise attacks I want to launch at my friends and the priceless expression on their faces. Hahahahaha...

Okay, enough of crapping. To the people who are bored enough to read my blog, wishing you all happy new year and have a blessed year ahead!!!

The mystery of my name finally solved...Lol!!! Posted by Bubbly89 , Friday, April 27, 2012 at 11:25 PM, in

I've lived with my name, well, my whole life. I mean, my christian name. Well, I had problems with BOTH my christian and chinese name since loooooooong long time ago. Sad huh? Ah well, if you're me, you'll somehow come to a point where you just don't care at all. 

My chinese name is something very easy to write and remember even for kids in early primary school, or even in kindergarten. And sad to say, ever since I started schooling, I had been teased because of it until I reached secondary school when I seldom used my chinese name anymore. When my grandfather first gave me another chinese name which is the reverse sequence in writing of my name when I was born, he meant it for a good purpose.Luckily, my mom, knowing that it would cause me trouble, told him to write it in the reverse sequence. Unfortunately, even if it's the reverse, I was still teased by friends in school last time. But then again, my chinese name gave me good memories as well now that I think of it. There was a friend of mine who would call me not by my chinese name but by the last character of my name and doubling it. Lol!!! And because my mom who got to know about that friend calling me that, had been teasing me about it as well, and grew fond of that friend. Hahaha...Well, can't really blame her. Of course, every mother would be fond of people who likes her daughter.

Then, there's my christian name. This name of mine brought even bigger trouble to me than my chinese name because I used it more often and because it's such a foreign name to the people in my hometown. People have trouble pronouncing my name ever since I could remember. Trust me, I have heard like dozens of different kinds of pronunciation of my name. And I used to think that it's a very old fashioned name, until the other day, a friend asked me what's the correct pronunciation and meaning of it and I googled it.

Ever since I came to Prague, or rather Europe generally, because people from all over Europe told me the same thing when I introduced myself, that I got to know that my name was of Italian origin. The Italians were of course especially excited when I told them my name of course...hahaha... When I googled it the other day, it really is of Italian origin and it means "free" or "free person" in general. And as to the mystery of how to pronounce my name correctly, I've finally solved it. It is meant to be pronounced as how I would introduce myself in Europe after I came here.

As I read through the article on my name, I've come to love it. The story of famous people with this name..The general character of people with this name..hahaha...Apparently it's one of the names growing in popularity in the recent years. Hehehe...So in order to have my name being pronounced uniformly, I'll introduce myself as how I do now here even in Malaysia and I'll tell everyone it's an Italian name...Muahahaha.... Ok, i think somehow the revision of Pathology has somehow got to me..=P

Fear of "death" Posted by Bubbly89 , Thursday, April 12, 2012 at 9:47 AM, in

There was once a moment in my life that I was truly afraid of being dead. And there were times every so frequent that I would lose someone I love to death, by old age or diseases. There will never be enough preparations for you to cope with the loss when you actually have to face it I do realize that.

However, as time goes by, I've slowly grown that I'm no longer scared that I'll die but still afraid of losing someone close. Partly, it's because I know I've lived my life quite to the fullest and I've been blessed to be able to do so much in my life. And partly, I've come to learn that death in this life doesn't mean you have eternal death, rather it's the beginning of a new life with God in heaven.

Of course, if I were to die now, I would still have regrets about not finishing the things I do now and there are still so much in the world which I haven't explored, still I believe that the duration of your life is actually just another blessing from God and besides, what else could be more beautiful or interesting than spending time with God in heaven? And when I looked at the lives of other people, especially those who died early in their lives, I just feel so blessed to be able just breathe and having the chances to fulfill dreams which these people didn't even have the time for.

Last Sunday, which was Easter Sunday, the priest in church was telling us about a certain student of his who had just passed away from cancer. And the priest said when he talked to the wife of his student, the wife told him something spectacular. She told him, as her husband passed away on Good Friday, that before her husband passed away, as she was grieving for him, he told her to be happy for him because he would be celebrating Easter with Jesus on Easter Sunday.

When I heard the story, I was so amazed. And then I realized, even if I were to die, I would have the privilege to spend all the holidays and even every single day with God. After the sermon, you could just see the smiles on everyone's face. It's like everyone was lifted from the fear of death. Because it's a promise. From God to His people, that we will have eternal life with Him.

Memories Posted by Bubbly89 , Thursday, April 5, 2012 at 4:41 PM, in

Memories are sure very strong things that can bring a smile, a tear, a sigh and any kind of emotion you can imagine.

These few days have been days walking down memory lane. Just now, I found a friend on Facebook who used to study with me. He was a very nice friend. I can't remember how I met him anymore, except that I was in the same tuition class as him after that. I think he was my friend's brother. He's a very very nice boy when I was studying with him, even though I was rather mean to him. He gave me constructive criticism but because I was very young then, I returned him with insults. But he still stayed cool with it. Now that I think of it, I was rather childish that time. When he left for another school, I remember being sad about it, and if I'm not mistaken, so was he. There was always this awkward silence when we met shortly before he left for another school. For one thing, I know that time I was awkward because I couldn't say anything to a good friend who's leaving. And regretfully, he left without me saying a proper goodbye and as kids those days don't have Facebook, we lost contact until I found his Facebook just now. He turns out to be quite a successful musician in Australia and has like more than 2000 friends. I wanted to click the "Add friend" button but I just thought with so many friends he would have probably forgotten about me. So, again, I can only lose this friend without any goodbyes.

And with this friend, brings so much memories about the tuition class I was in. I remember being super childish with a bunch of girls. There was a girl among us who said that when we passed up our works and if there was a guy's paper on top of one of the girl's, means that they're couple. Lol!!!! Seriously, I can't even imagine how childish we were that time. And amusingly, the boys reacted the same way. Hahahahaha...

Wow!!! Now that I think of it, the tuition class was really filled with different kinds of memories. There was one embarrassing moment that I remember, and that is, I was like rocking my chair back and forth on two of the legs and my teacher saw what I was doing, she was keeping an eye on me while teaching. Then, finally, I lost control and I fell backwards and I remember the teacher looking at me the same time as I was falling and yelled, "Boom!!!" That was seriously embarrassing.

And with this tuition class, I develop the hobby of reading books, and the first book that I ever finished that time, was of course, none other than Harry Potter. My teacher was certainly a very good influence and encouraged us to finish all the books she had in her collection.

And then, there was that one happy moment that I will never forget, the first and only time a guy showed interest in me, even though the "guy" in this context was just an twelve-year-old boy. Hahahaha...Of course I was flattered that time, but with the scrutinizing girls in my class, I of course did nothing about it. He was like discussing a long time with his gang of friends in front of the teacher until she got mad and asked them what they were discussing, specifically addressing one of his friends. Then his friend said that the guy wanted to know which secondary school I was going to after I graduated primary school. And then, the teacher who suddenly found out that she has just gotten herself into a very serious awkward situation, turned and repeated the question to me. And like I said, I was in the group of very conservative girls, who turned and just stared at me along with the rest of the boys as well. I was like, jaws dropped, looked at the teacher then the boy, who was just shying away while his friends smiled at me, then back to the teacher again and answered her. Then, the whispering among the girls started. Seriously, now that I think of it, I really do think that those girls are really rather........intolerable. And when I enrolled in my secondary school, guess who was there as well? The boy who asked...Hahahaha...for one moment of my life, I actually had a fan. Lol!!!

How time flies........And in a blink, those things occurred like almost ten years ago...Wow!!! But definitely, these memories just really made my day sometimes.

Corinthians 13:4-7 Posted by Bubbly89 , at 12:41 AM, in

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Corinthians 13: 4-7