Something that I shared with my friend the other day, and we were like laughing our heads off after what I told her.
Basically, it wasn't supposed to be a joke. I mean, afterall, it was supposed to be a criticism on me. But being the sadistic person that I am, I actually find the whole thing super amusing.
So here it goes....
Someone said that I'm still like a kid and recommended a formula for me.
Well, probably because of sensorship and because I'm telling it as a second hand kinda joke so maybe it won't be funny.
But yeah, I know I'm really pathetic. Supposedly I should be angry and not laugh my head off kinda thing. But seriously, every time when I thought of it, it's just the classic joke kinda thing. Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Cold beauty
It has been snowing rather heavily. And the whole city of Prague is well covered or should i say buried in snow. The snow is so thick now that I think it have definitely reached one feet or more.
As I was taking the super long journey by tram to the gym where I was having my PE, I passed through so many places. It was just amazingly beautiful the whole place, covered in snow. Everything's white. The trees had snow replacing leaves on their branches. Super pretty.
And passing by some of the buildings, the whole view was just sort of majestic. Every thing seemed so surreal. It's almost as if we were in some sort of fairytale world kinda thing.
It's just so magnificent except for the cold and slippery part. Totally cool view!!!
As I was taking the super long journey by tram to the gym where I was having my PE, I passed through so many places. It was just amazingly beautiful the whole place, covered in snow. Everything's white. The trees had snow replacing leaves on their branches. Super pretty.
And passing by some of the buildings, the whole view was just sort of majestic. Every thing seemed so surreal. It's almost as if we were in some sort of fairytale world kinda thing.
It's just so magnificent except for the cold and slippery part. Totally cool view!!!
Things forgotten
Was talking to a friend about how depressed I was when suddenly what she said reminded me of some of the things my friend in church Charlie told me. My friend was sharing with me about what she has gained after going through certain ordeals and things wouldn't have been if not for going through those things. She told me that for now we couldn't see why He did things now but we will understand in the future. And then it struck me.
Charlie once told me, right after he got to know that I was going to repeat year and seeing how sad i was, if only we could fast forward the time and see what He has in store for us, for making us go through what we are going through, then we'll see the rewards that He has for us. However, as it is impossible, so we can either continue to be angry at God or just completely trust in Him.
"Completely trust in Him" was the part i've forgotten. Despite seeing Charlie every Sunday, it never occured to me this phrase. It was tucked away in some "ulu" place in my brain. And slowly, I was succumbing to the ever-empowering depression until what my friend said somehow triggered the memory of the phrase.
Before this, I kept on thinking that there must be a reason for things that happened but I failed to completely trust in Him. I was more like just reciting to myself everything's gonna be ok and all and just somehow only focused on my sufferings and things that I've lost but failed to count the blessings and the things that I've gained. I mean, in just such a short period after I've known that I was going to repeat year, so many good things have happened to me. Things for sure I know would not have happened if not for this ordeal I was going through.
What I gained? So many things. Things like I realised how people actually care for me, i mean people i never thought would. And how I have been relieved from things that would have continued to press on me if I have not repeated the year.
And all these things just reminds me how much I'm being loved by HIM. How He always sent people to encourage and comfort me. It's just so amazing to think how precious I am to Him to even have Him arrange so many things to keep me going when I'm going down. HIS love is just so amazing!!!!
Charlie once told me, right after he got to know that I was going to repeat year and seeing how sad i was, if only we could fast forward the time and see what He has in store for us, for making us go through what we are going through, then we'll see the rewards that He has for us. However, as it is impossible, so we can either continue to be angry at God or just completely trust in Him.
"Completely trust in Him" was the part i've forgotten. Despite seeing Charlie every Sunday, it never occured to me this phrase. It was tucked away in some "ulu" place in my brain. And slowly, I was succumbing to the ever-empowering depression until what my friend said somehow triggered the memory of the phrase.
Before this, I kept on thinking that there must be a reason for things that happened but I failed to completely trust in Him. I was more like just reciting to myself everything's gonna be ok and all and just somehow only focused on my sufferings and things that I've lost but failed to count the blessings and the things that I've gained. I mean, in just such a short period after I've known that I was going to repeat year, so many good things have happened to me. Things for sure I know would not have happened if not for this ordeal I was going through.
What I gained? So many things. Things like I realised how people actually care for me, i mean people i never thought would. And how I have been relieved from things that would have continued to press on me if I have not repeated the year.
And all these things just reminds me how much I'm being loved by HIM. How He always sent people to encourage and comfort me. It's just so amazing to think how precious I am to Him to even have Him arrange so many things to keep me going when I'm going down. HIS love is just so amazing!!!!
21st Birthday
I must say, I really had an interesting 21st birthday. It's filled with all kinds of emotions - despair, sadness, loneliness, happiness, excitement, embarassment, awe, etc.
During daytime, nothing really happened except that I just lazed around. It was really sort of any-other-day kinda day at first. Then, in the evening, my laptop suddenly shut down all by itself and I couldn't start it for very long time. I was like, "Shit!!! Don't do this to me on my birthday!!!" Thank goodness it started at the end.
And it was in the night when I finally felt like my birthday. Met up with friends. Went for orchestra concert for the first time in my life and totally loving it. I mean, totally. The surprising part was that the clarinet player was actually my previous biochem teacher.
After the concert ended, one of the friends in bible study who was very very very super good looking came over and was asking whose birthday was it and he shook my hand. I was really like floating in air kinda thing. Lol!!!!
We went for a very super late dinner in Pizza Colosseum with Yeng Tong and Lee Peng joining us.
Was really happy with my birthday except for a very small wish of mine that didn't get to be fulfilled - a special someone to call me or message me to wish me happy birthday. Haih....Probably he has forgotten about me already.
BUT, overall, I really had a great 21st birthday!!! Now it's time to break all the rules!!!! Viva being 21!!! Young yet fabulous age!!!
During daytime, nothing really happened except that I just lazed around. It was really sort of any-other-day kinda day at first. Then, in the evening, my laptop suddenly shut down all by itself and I couldn't start it for very long time. I was like, "Shit!!! Don't do this to me on my birthday!!!" Thank goodness it started at the end.
And it was in the night when I finally felt like my birthday. Met up with friends. Went for orchestra concert for the first time in my life and totally loving it. I mean, totally. The surprising part was that the clarinet player was actually my previous biochem teacher.
After the concert ended, one of the friends in bible study who was very very very super good looking came over and was asking whose birthday was it and he shook my hand. I was really like floating in air kinda thing. Lol!!!!
We went for a very super late dinner in Pizza Colosseum with Yeng Tong and Lee Peng joining us.
Was really happy with my birthday except for a very small wish of mine that didn't get to be fulfilled - a special someone to call me or message me to wish me happy birthday. Haih....Probably he has forgotten about me already.
BUT, overall, I really had a great 21st birthday!!! Now it's time to break all the rules!!!! Viva being 21!!! Young yet fabulous age!!!
21st Birthday Party
Early September, my family threw for me a very super grand party for me back at home in Kuching. We had the party in a restaurant and invited almost 60 guests. Of course, only 2 out of the 60 were my friends while the remaining were family member which of course made the whole party kinda awkward because as I might have previously mentioned, my family was kinda isolated from the other families partly because my father passed away when I was still young so that side of family was really distant from us. As for my mother's family, my eldest brother being a sporting person, he was quite close to some of the older cousins. As for me and my second brother, well, we're considered "weird" I guess. So, as I said, it was really awkward. Nonetheless, i really aprreciated how much effort my family put in and how some of the families were really supportive.
Last night, my friends here in Prague threw a party for me and my other junior, Ian who has his birthday quite close to mine. It was a blast!!! Really appreciate all the effort everyone put in to make the whole party so nice. And was totally surprised when they gave me the pair of boots which I was longing for a very long time and two pairs of earrings which are one of my favourite things of all time.
During the party, of course, there were really things that amazed me. For example, how much my friends actually cared for me. And because of that, they actually "diluted" certain effects which I was totally grateful for.
And there was this particular senior who was really like a "da jie". She was picking out the best part of the dishes for me and was explaining to me why this part is nicer and so on and so forth to me like i was her little sister. Actually other than this, I really appreciate what this senior did on the day before. I don't see this senior very often as she is a few years higher than me so I was not to say close to her. But the concern that she showed everytime she saw me was really touching. As I was very depressed a few days before about repeating year, what she advised me suddenly brought some sense into me. Maybe somehow my depression was written all over my face but she just somehow able to pick up how I felt. So I was really caught be surprised how she somehow tuned into like sort of comforting-encouraging-advising mode.
I really thank God for the awesome friends that He sent to me. I pray that He will continue to bless everyone of them.
Last night, my friends here in Prague threw a party for me and my other junior, Ian who has his birthday quite close to mine. It was a blast!!! Really appreciate all the effort everyone put in to make the whole party so nice. And was totally surprised when they gave me the pair of boots which I was longing for a very long time and two pairs of earrings which are one of my favourite things of all time.
During the party, of course, there were really things that amazed me. For example, how much my friends actually cared for me. And because of that, they actually "diluted" certain effects which I was totally grateful for.
And there was this particular senior who was really like a "da jie". She was picking out the best part of the dishes for me and was explaining to me why this part is nicer and so on and so forth to me like i was her little sister. Actually other than this, I really appreciate what this senior did on the day before. I don't see this senior very often as she is a few years higher than me so I was not to say close to her. But the concern that she showed everytime she saw me was really touching. As I was very depressed a few days before about repeating year, what she advised me suddenly brought some sense into me. Maybe somehow my depression was written all over my face but she just somehow able to pick up how I felt. So I was really caught be surprised how she somehow tuned into like sort of comforting-encouraging-advising mode.
I really thank God for the awesome friends that He sent to me. I pray that He will continue to bless everyone of them.
Four Seasons
Like the flowers blooming during spring,
So does my heart feels like blossoming,
Like the spring in middle of a forest,
Like the light shining in a meadow,
And so does my heart finds rest,
Reaching out to a certain fellow,
Of whom my thoughts endlessly swirl around.
Like the cold that's slowly approaching,
So does my heart feel missing you,
Like the trees that slowly drop their leaves,
Like the sudden bareness of the trees,
And so coldness my heart feels
As the days stretched out between "us",
And the days when it's just "me" and "you"
Like a winter day with endless snow,
So do our memories flow,
Like the beauty of a falling snow,
Like the ground covered in white,
And so are our memories glow,
Ever so pure and ever so wanting to grow,
And so did you make my days bright.
Like the refreshing rain of a summer's day,
So does my heart feels refreshed,
Like the trees that are filled with life,
Like the singing of the birds,
And so does my heart feels alive
As how I want to soar in the sky,
As how much fondness in my heart compressed.
So does my heart feels like blossoming,
Like the spring in middle of a forest,
Like the light shining in a meadow,
And so does my heart finds rest,
Reaching out to a certain fellow,
Of whom my thoughts endlessly swirl around.
Like the cold that's slowly approaching,
So does my heart feel missing you,
Like the trees that slowly drop their leaves,
Like the sudden bareness of the trees,
And so coldness my heart feels
As the days stretched out between "us",
And the days when it's just "me" and "you"
Like a winter day with endless snow,
So do our memories flow,
Like the beauty of a falling snow,
Like the ground covered in white,
And so are our memories glow,
Ever so pure and ever so wanting to grow,
And so did you make my days bright.
Like the refreshing rain of a summer's day,
So does my heart feels refreshed,
Like the trees that are filled with life,
Like the singing of the birds,
And so does my heart feels alive
As how I want to soar in the sky,
As how much fondness in my heart compressed.
Again indulging in helplessness and pain?
It's funny how I eventually could turn sober even though I started the day with full of joy and hope. Today, again, as always, I was going to class and suddenly the thought of not being able to proceed to third year brought me a sense of helplessness. I know I'm rather pathetic which makes me sick thinking about it. And how it's even sickening to be stucked in the situation with certain circumstances. It just feel so unfair!!!
And after my class while walking back to my apartment, a dreadful realization came over me. My left hip has started to have the similar pain as my right hip. For a moment, I stood there for a while as despair came over me. Oh shit, my right hip hasn't recovered yet and now I'm stucked with another pain in another side of my hip? What the hell!!!!
Totally.....I'm totally indulging myself in my despair and pain...Haih.....
And after my class while walking back to my apartment, a dreadful realization came over me. My left hip has started to have the similar pain as my right hip. For a moment, I stood there for a while as despair came over me. Oh shit, my right hip hasn't recovered yet and now I'm stucked with another pain in another side of my hip? What the hell!!!!
Totally.....I'm totally indulging myself in my despair and pain...Haih.....
One of my favourite sonnets
SONNET 18
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.
Missing you
Every day and every night,
Every minute, every second,
Before I drift into sleep at night,
I'll remember the times when you touch my hand.
Every time and every dream,
Every moment every season,
You are always in every one of them,
I really miss you, without any comprehension.
Every laugh and every joke
Every smile and twinkle in your eyes,
The times when we talked about books
Keep on flashing in front of my eyes.
Every time when you shielded me
From every possible threats,
Every time when you helped me,
Makes my heart skip just thinking of these.
I don't know you much
But I know I'm head over heel
Just thinking about you
I want to see you so much
I miss you very much
Every minute, every second,
Before I drift into sleep at night,
I'll remember the times when you touch my hand.
Every time and every dream,
Every moment every season,
You are always in every one of them,
I really miss you, without any comprehension.
Every laugh and every joke
Every smile and twinkle in your eyes,
The times when we talked about books
Keep on flashing in front of my eyes.
Every time when you shielded me
From every possible threats,
Every time when you helped me,
Makes my heart skip just thinking of these.
I don't know you much
But I know I'm head over heel
Just thinking about you
I want to see you so much
I miss you very much
Just realized...
Well, then, the past few days have been rather eventful.
First off, said things that I shouldn't have and hurt people like I always did. Felt that I was wrong for not doing what I was supposed to do. Instead of guiding someone out of hatred, I made that particular someone more into hatred. A big big mistake and I must say I'm guilty of it. As a Christian, I didn't do what I'm supposed to do.
Second, until recently, I just realized that what I suspected was true. A few jerks in some other country were spreading rumors about me exactly like what I thought. Well then, they're jerks being ..........well, jerks.
Third, I am still depressed about things that happened on me.
Fourth, I just realised that I might actually like a particular someone and I miss him terribly. Really super crazily miss him. I wonder if we'll ever meet again.
First off, said things that I shouldn't have and hurt people like I always did. Felt that I was wrong for not doing what I was supposed to do. Instead of guiding someone out of hatred, I made that particular someone more into hatred. A big big mistake and I must say I'm guilty of it. As a Christian, I didn't do what I'm supposed to do.
Second, until recently, I just realized that what I suspected was true. A few jerks in some other country were spreading rumors about me exactly like what I thought. Well then, they're jerks being ..........well, jerks.
Third, I am still depressed about things that happened on me.
Fourth, I just realised that I might actually like a particular someone and I miss him terribly. Really super crazily miss him. I wonder if we'll ever meet again.
Casting Crowns - Prayer For A Friend
I'm dedicating this song to a friend. I hope he finds peace. I hope he can come into terms what he has done and accept it. Forgivenss can only come if you can only forgive yourself. I know I've hurt this friend in some ways that I shouldn't but I just pray that he will come to accept himself and that he will be able to let go off his hatred and anger.
Prayer For A Friend lyrics
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You
'cause there's a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Prayer For A Friend lyrics
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You
'cause there's a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Well.....
Well...
Recently, I received a few "personal" comments on things that I've wrote in my previous blogs. Well, I must say, despite that my comments were just general comments, people can actually intepret that I was talking about anyone. Wow!! Amazing...
And it's amazing how that people actually read about the minor stuffs rather than the major ones. And this tells me what? Well, people are just worried about what other people think about themselves rather than the well-being of the person who writes the blog. For goodness sake, i was talking about how depressed I was and all that people noticed was the part where I said "some people hurt other people by making up lies".
I mean, seriously, so far, what I wrote was really super general, no name mentioned or anything like "she's a girl, five feet tall, short hair, small eyes, name starting with..." this kinda stuffs, and still people try to decipher about whoever I was talking about. Isn't that amazing?
Being paranoid just shows how you think people think about you either because you're too self-concious or you actually know what you've done and you care about what people may think of you as. I can't remember where I quote this from but it's a phrase that's very useful to me in my everyday life.
I once read in my friend's blog a quote "If you want to see a real friend, don't see who's interesting. See who's interested." And well, this just proves to me that who is a real friend who truly cares about me rather than themselves.
Recently, I received a few "personal" comments on things that I've wrote in my previous blogs. Well, I must say, despite that my comments were just general comments, people can actually intepret that I was talking about anyone. Wow!! Amazing...
And it's amazing how that people actually read about the minor stuffs rather than the major ones. And this tells me what? Well, people are just worried about what other people think about themselves rather than the well-being of the person who writes the blog. For goodness sake, i was talking about how depressed I was and all that people noticed was the part where I said "some people hurt other people by making up lies".
I mean, seriously, so far, what I wrote was really super general, no name mentioned or anything like "she's a girl, five feet tall, short hair, small eyes, name starting with..." this kinda stuffs, and still people try to decipher about whoever I was talking about. Isn't that amazing?
Being paranoid just shows how you think people think about you either because you're too self-concious or you actually know what you've done and you care about what people may think of you as. I can't remember where I quote this from but it's a phrase that's very useful to me in my everyday life.
I once read in my friend's blog a quote "If you want to see a real friend, don't see who's interesting. See who's interested." And well, this just proves to me that who is a real friend who truly cares about me rather than themselves.
Helpless
Today I met a friend, whom I've studied with two years before the "fateful incident" happened. He was telling me he didn't understand why things turned out to be like this. He was saying that he was very sure that I could have passed.
And honestly, I felt honoured yet even more depressed at the same time. I couldn't help but felt so helpless. I feel helpless because I couldn't help myself out of the situation I'm stucked in. And, everything that I have to deal with is so much more that I thought.
For those people who read my previous blog and were shocked by my sudden outburst, hahaha...Well, I don't know why but I'm really emotional these few days and things keep on popping into my head that make me sad and stressed out. However, overall, I'm dealing with everything just fine. No need for any worries. =)
And honestly, I felt honoured yet even more depressed at the same time. I couldn't help but felt so helpless. I feel helpless because I couldn't help myself out of the situation I'm stucked in. And, everything that I have to deal with is so much more that I thought.
For those people who read my previous blog and were shocked by my sudden outburst, hahaha...Well, I don't know why but I'm really emotional these few days and things keep on popping into my head that make me sad and stressed out. However, overall, I'm dealing with everything just fine. No need for any worries. =)
Insanity
What can I say now?? The world is so filled with insanity.
First, I've seen how people hurt other people by creating stories and telling lies. I've seen how people think they're hurt because they think that other people are backstabbing them when they're the one who are the one's hurting people. What can I say? They're insane.
And I'm insane because here I am, depressed, angry and disappointed about why I am repeating my second year yet again. I'm angry because of those people who were not professional enough to let their mood get into them when they were examining people. I'm angry at them for they ruined my perfect life. I'm angry because it's so unfair. I'm angry at my university's adminstration because of their own greediness to make more money, they took away my dreams. I'm disappointed at myself for letting my emotions control me yet again. I'm disappointed at how my life has turned out to be. I'm disappointed because I would not be able to graduate with my friends whom I've studied with for two years. That was my dream. To be able to laugh and graduate with the people I've come to love and care about. Why was that dream taken away from me?
And to think that some people actually get angry at other people who never treated them wrongly and these people actually go all the way to tell other people thousands and thousands of lies to make themselves look nice, I'm totally speechless. They don't even have any right to do so. Are their dreams taken away from them? Hell, no. Are their lives totally changed? NO!!! So what rights do they have to be angry? What rights do they have to be mad at me when I did nothing to them? What did I do to deserve a smirk when I was trying to be nice and greeted them? DAMN!!!!
What can I say? I'm totally insane now.
First, I've seen how people hurt other people by creating stories and telling lies. I've seen how people think they're hurt because they think that other people are backstabbing them when they're the one who are the one's hurting people. What can I say? They're insane.
And I'm insane because here I am, depressed, angry and disappointed about why I am repeating my second year yet again. I'm angry because of those people who were not professional enough to let their mood get into them when they were examining people. I'm angry at them for they ruined my perfect life. I'm angry because it's so unfair. I'm angry at my university's adminstration because of their own greediness to make more money, they took away my dreams. I'm disappointed at myself for letting my emotions control me yet again. I'm disappointed at how my life has turned out to be. I'm disappointed because I would not be able to graduate with my friends whom I've studied with for two years. That was my dream. To be able to laugh and graduate with the people I've come to love and care about. Why was that dream taken away from me?
And to think that some people actually get angry at other people who never treated them wrongly and these people actually go all the way to tell other people thousands and thousands of lies to make themselves look nice, I'm totally speechless. They don't even have any right to do so. Are their dreams taken away from them? Hell, no. Are their lives totally changed? NO!!! So what rights do they have to be angry? What rights do they have to be mad at me when I did nothing to them? What did I do to deserve a smirk when I was trying to be nice and greeted them? DAMN!!!!
What can I say? I'm totally insane now.
Things that are supposed to be?
Well, recently I met this guy who is not to say, the manliest but either way, he's a guy. Normal guy. Probably because I lived with two very-different-from-other-guys guys, I was accustomed to think that guys are supposed to be clean and tidy and bla bla bla...I mean, at least, they are able to keep the house clean. And, partly because my two brothers keep their house tidy as well, I would expect that every guy would be like that. So, when I went to this guy's apartment, seeing what a mess he has created in his apartment, bathroom cum toilet was dirty from mysterious stains, the hall was stained with the same sets of dust from the mysterious little black dots and the list goes on and on, I was of course shocked. Then, I thought about it, probably he's just being "guy" enough, that he really doesn't care about keeping his house clean. I mean, people always say that guys aren't the best housekeepers anyway. So he was just keeping the concept of how things are supposed to be like as a "guy".
Another thing that occured to me as a surprise this week was that how many things are "supposed-to-be" when you have reached my age. For example, how people expect you to be having a boyfriend now...how you're supposed to be worried now if you don't have one.. When I contacted a friend whom I didn't contact for a long time, she suddenly asked me, any boyfriend. Then, realisation came into my head, I'm almost 21 and people are supposed to have at least one relationship at this age and here I am, miserably single. And then, when I think again, I'm actually just 7 years from the average marrying age!!!!! Before this, when my family members kept on criticizing that I don't have a boyfriend, I thought that they were just too "over". Now that I think of it, probably I'm supposed to be worried?
Another thing that occured to me as a surprise this week was that how many things are "supposed-to-be" when you have reached my age. For example, how people expect you to be having a boyfriend now...how you're supposed to be worried now if you don't have one.. When I contacted a friend whom I didn't contact for a long time, she suddenly asked me, any boyfriend. Then, realisation came into my head, I'm almost 21 and people are supposed to have at least one relationship at this age and here I am, miserably single. And then, when I think again, I'm actually just 7 years from the average marrying age!!!!! Before this, when my family members kept on criticizing that I don't have a boyfriend, I thought that they were just too "over". Now that I think of it, probably I'm supposed to be worried?
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